The story of the young boy who pulls the sword from the stone has delighted children and adults ever since history (or hearsay depending upon your view!) brought it to are attention.

This panto has all the characters, Arthur, Merlin, Sir Laughalot, Lady of the lake and many others including Dame Spendapenny and two useless bodyguards (Sir Darling and Sir Sweety!) and a Gorilla.

Read an excerpt from the script here:

Scene Three

(Curtain opens to a backdrop of a woodland glade (few pot plants) with a small pool of water (aluminium foil or a sheet painted silver with a hole in the top is good!) backstage centre. FX birdsong, trickling water. Enter Arthur, Laughalot, Sarah stage right all on tip toe)

Arthur: I broke my sword when I frightened that ghost away

(Shows his sword which is now broken in half)

Sarah: Who frightened it away?

Arthur: It was scared silly when I waved my sword at it

Merlin: It frightened you away you mean

Laughalot: If it hadn’t been for your mum we might all be in ghostland now

Sarah: Ghostland? That’s where the King lives isn’t it?

Arthur: I live in Camelot mother

Sarah: Not you silly, the real King…Elvis. He lives in ghostland doesn’t he

Laughalot: He does now

Arthur: Shhh. What is this place?

Sarah: I don’t know, seems nice enough though

Laughalot: Look! A lake

(Points at pool of water)

Arthur: Well, sort of

Laughalot: I wonder if it has any fish in it, I love fish

Sarah: I love cod and chips

(Laughalot rushes over and peers into the pool)

Laughalot: There are fish in here! Look, tuna

(Pulls out can of tuna)

Arthur: Shouldn’t keep animals in a cage, it’s cruel

Laughalot: I had a goldfish once but it died

(Urges the audience to ahhhhs)

Arthur: What did it die of?

Laughalot: Well, my mum said it died of dirty water

Sarah: Dirty water? How did it die of that?

Laughalot: She said I should empty the bowl and fill it up with clean water but I thought that was silly

Arthur: Why?

Laughalot: Because it hadn’t drunk the first lot so I wasn’t going to give it any more

(Sarah cuffs him alongside the ear)

Sarah: Idiot!

Arthur: This is not helping us find Guinevere or the dragon

Sarah: Why don’t we sit down by the lake, have a rest and decide what to do next? I’ve brought some food for a picnic

Laughalot: Yeah, good idea. I’m starving

Arthur: Well, ok as long as we don’t take too long

(Sarah opens her basket and produces a large bottle of beer and three glasses)

Arthur: I though you said you had some food mum, this is just beer
Sarah: Not just beer, this is food as well Arthur

Arthur: Haven’t you heard about the perils of drinking mum?

Sarah: Well my doctor did warn me about watching my drinking

Laughalot: So what did you do about it?

Sarah: I stared in the mirror when I was in the bar

Laughalot: That’s cheating!

Arthur: Mum had a gorilla come in the pub once

Laughalot: What happened?

Arthur: He asked for a pint of beer. Mum served him and said it was £5. The Gorilla paid and mum said “We don’t get many gorillas in here” the gorilla said “I’m not surprised at these prices!”

Read the whole script and details of purchase here:

https://www.lazybeescripts.co.uk/Scripts/script.aspx?iSS=1605